No doubt you know those who are often or always looking on the negative side. Always complaining. Always anxious. Often dramatic. Nervous. Full of doom. Ruled by the negative stories in their head. Owning pain. And using their pain as a badge of honour. Easily irritated. Immersed in a belief system that the world is ugly, corrupt, miserable, frightening, mean, falling apart, hopeless etc. I am not speaking about those who are ill and enduring the suffering of clinical depression. That is a different story. I am speaking about the average you and me.
We all experience pain. But pain like a mistake is a lesson for growth.
As Kahil Gibran wrote in his work The Prophet:
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that
Encloses your understanding
Even as the stone of the fruit must break,
That it’s heart may stand in the sun, so must
you know pain”
I was recently immersed in the centre of an absolutely pristine pool in India at one of the world’s most beautiful yogic spa and healing centres. I was observing the beautiful blue, glistening water and luxuriating in its warmth and nurturing properties. A few of the staff were looking into the pool too perhaps observing its clarity or beauty – who knows. A woman suddenly swam past me and said ‘I wonder what they are doing, I hope they’re not looking for snakes?????
Negative people need to be the centre of attention by drawing in sympathy from those around them or ‘belonging’ by joining the negative mob. Consciously or unconsciously. However the very thing that is wanted, that is attention, is the very thing not received as many will move away from the negative cloud of energy that one exudes.
These people are often irritated, irritable, remorseful and angry. Falling and falling down the rabbit hole at the rate of knots into a state of gloom and emptiness and so much so that they lose their place in the world and are unable to clamber up the sides of the cavern – because it all seems all useless and pointless. Beauty is beyond reach and isolation pervades. Is this you? Of course it is or can be or has been at some time. We are wired to think the worst and to fight or flee to protect ourselves. Ancient brain. And……We all so often allow the stories in our head to rule us and others.
Some of the wisest words I have been offered and ones upon which I have reflected upon many times are: “if you plant negative seeds, you will harvest negativity”. You may say that you are not being negative and denying or being resistant in some way to owning up to this truth. Or not even aware of your default pattern of existence. If you plant an apple tree you will not get oranges. Let’s face it. If you plant negativity you cannot expect to harvest positivity. You can only hope for it. And hope will not provide it. Not this time. So there is no point just waiting, expecting to pluck an orange off an apple tree.
One needs to do the hard work by planting different seeds. Continuously. Season after season until the garden is abundant. Don’t blame the lack of fruit or the soil or lack of rain or the cold. It is from you that the seeds will fall. Beauty is from within…..let it blossom.
We all need to be mindful of how we are approaching the day. Do we wake up and immediately think things are going to be arduous? Or do we wake up thinking how amazing it is to be still breathing and above grass?
It is often said to me that ‘I don’t have the energy to make change’. That’s a negative and you are right. Of course you will not be able to make change if you have planted that seed. Of course negativity will deplete your energy too. It becomes a vicious circle. Negativity – low energy – low energy – inability to make change.
When living in darkness the days seem long. When living in light one feels vibrant.
What are you planting? Which seed will empower you? Which seed will not? What does the garden of your mind look like? Is it full of colour, beauty and vitality….
Roses or weeds?
The choice is yours…….
P.S. I would like to honour whoever took this photograph. It came from Pinterest to me, I and I am unable to find out who took it. But I thank you, whoever you are. It says it all. It is so full of joy!