It has taken many years, much yoga practice and constant self-enquiry to live by the creed ‘I write my own tune’ and to understand how irrelevant and unimportant other’s judgments of me are…..
I don’t focus upon other’s opinions of me…. for I am doing my best. And I trust that somehow, somewhere, and for someone, (particularly myself), being ‘me’ is simply enough.
I am also much wiser in realizing that when I am mindful I watch my experiences and thoughts as they pass by and I try not to be tempted to dramatize, exaggerate or create illusions. It’s rather likened to watching a movie, scene after scene passing before my eyes; I observe the story but do not become a part of the plot!
And as the philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti so astutely stated:
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”
Ummm…it’s really tough though not to judge. Really, really tough. If only I was that clever!
We judge, often because we have been conditioned to do so. We create habitual responses to what we suppose is better/worse, good/bad, right/ wrong, ugly/beautiful, fair/unfair and dangerous/safe; what I must do, what I mustn’t do…… When we are imprisoned by our primordial behaviours, we simply cannot grow. We cannot be free to be our true selves.
Constantly judging everything we say, do and experience is exhausting and often painful. Not to mention – often inaccurate and disparaging. We become emotionally ‘stuck’. Same patterns, same opinions, same fatigue, same intolerance, same life.
People will often judge me, I know that, and therefore I accept that they will often misunderstand me and gossip too. I am my harshest judge as it is, therefore I have to say “go for it”. I am busy enough focusing on how not to beat myself up. Others’ opinions are not my concern.
And….it has also taken me a lot of self-enquiry (Sanskrit ‘vichara’) to understand the psychologist, Carl Jung’s words:
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves”.
So every time I judge, I need to turn the mirror around to face myself and to be completely honest with how I perceive the world and those around me.
How do we reject our judgmental frame of reference?
In the yogic world, we speak constantly of compassion. Be compassionate. Be compassionate towards others. Be compassionate towards oneself. Be in a state of love. Be present. That’s how we do it!
Of course, easier said than done, but something to reflect upon nevertheless.
There is a man called Scott Stabile, whom I discovered cruising the net, (as one does)…..and I absolutely resonate with his words and his passion……
He wrote this…and these words may (or may not) make a difference to you……Let’s see!
“Let them judge you
Let them misunderstand you
Let them gossip about you
Their opinions aren’t your problem
You stay kind, committed to love,
And free in your authenticity.
No matter what they do or say
Don’t you dare doubt your worth
Or the beauty of your truth.
Just keep on shining like you do”.
Thank you Scott……
And thank you Ed……
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